Saturday, February 6, 2010

bUT... i'M oNLY fORTY-sOMETHING!

I love my kids; having them is both the best and the hardest thing I've ever done. Our oldest son joined the Air Force in the fall of 2008; in April he told us that he was getting married - then in May '09 he told us he had actually gotten married in March. Then, this January he told us that he and his wife are expecting their first baby! I'm gonna be a grandma!!!

It's actually not as bad as I make it sound, I'm very excited. I've been crying to my hubby that I want more babies in our home; it just seems like another little person is what we need. However, the lament was that I wanted to have another baby! A friend told me in November that he was pretty sure babies were just around the corner for us... grandbabies, that is. But I want to have another - just one more! Yet, I also know how impossible this would be. :(  So,  I just can't wait for our first grandbaby to arrive.

I just wish they lived HERE! We're in California and they're in Georgia. They are both in the Air Force and between them, they have at least 4 more years... I guess they missed the memo that there was to be no sex until they moved back here! (LOL!) Being a loooooooong distance grandma just seems so sad to me. I had fully expected to be able to be an almost daily part of the lives of my grandchildren. Now, I suppose, my prayers will be that they move back here when their enlistments are finished. And, I guess, I have to trust God that the relationship with my new grandbaby will be better than what I know of long distance grandparent relationships; and trust that He knows the desires of my heart (and my son's...)

So, without further ado, here is my new grandbaby:

It's so amazing to me - how God creates something from nothing. And how every person He creates is infinitely different from every other person He makes. How can people doubt His exsistance? Why would someone prefer to think they "morphed" from a dirty, bug-eating, poo-throwing monkey. Why is it so offensive to some to beleive they are so loved that they were thoughtfully and wonderfully made from Love, Himself? It is so incomprehensible to me sometimes to ponder the implications of God thinking to Himself of all of the parameters of my life. Everything from the unique color of my eyes to the shape of my body to the inner workings (and failings) of that same body. He knew all that I would experience: the good, the bad, the ugly... and the downright evil. But He also promised that in all of my life He would never leave me or forsake me. And, one of the promises that humbles me to the core, that not only has He seen every tear, but He collects them in a bottle and will, one day, repay me good for every one of them. And the "good" will be according to His economy, not this pathetic, inadequate worldly one. All He asks is that I beleive and obey. Sure, no small task, but I've experienced how He gives back so much more...

Like a brand new baby for our family. Something from nothing, created by His divine love. He is good...

If you ever feel like you need to talk about Who God Is, send me a message. My faith is humanly imperfect, but I hold tightly to the promises He's given me in His Word.

In Christ's love,
tonya renee

P.S. more links, photos and new GSD files coming this month!!!

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